> Chirp can't read from the radio. All it does is put the radio into scan mode.

I had a similar problem with my Baofeng UV-82.  The solution (for me) was to install the drivers that came with my cable -- although I certain that the Miklor drivers recommended on this list will work as well (or better).

Then you need to convince Windows to roll back the drivers (at least on my system it would instantly upgrade the driver as soon as I plugged in the cable).  With the proper drivers, and Windows “help” disabled, all should be well.

Did you burn yourself on the live antenna connector?  I got a singe, and that was my clue that something was amiss.

Tom WZ9U